Friday, October 30, 2020

The Bucket & Peanut Show #6: Opening

Bucket & Peanuts Super Spooky Fright Night Totally Scary Halloween Spectacular!

Bucket: Welcome all you Spooks and Kooks to our special Bucket and Peanut Show Presents: Bucket & Peanuts Super Spooky Fright Night Totally Scary Halloween Spectacular!

Peanut: That's right snitches and bitches, brace yourself for....... EXTRAAAAA CONNNNTENT!

Bucket: PEANUT!

Peanut: What? They know I loves them *blows a kiss to the audience*

Bucket: Anyway we have a cool show for you tonight. Our conservative storyteller Ms Luvscock has a new story for you all. We're interviewing the electric Sparklebottom Lasertits, and we'll finish things up by taking a peek into what people have been up to this Halloween over on the ole B&P group page

Peanut: Hashtag BPGP

Bucket: Enjoy the story everyone, and stay tuned for the interview after the break 


Eva Luvscock: "Hello Boils and Ghouls, Isabella Luvscock here once again with another Tale of Misadventure from our friends, Bucket and Peanut!"

*The camera zooms out to show a usually conservative dressed Isabella wearing a tight Open Bust Corset Harness and matching thong. Resting comfortably in her reading chair,  seductively gazing into the camera, her feet propped up on the back of her boy toy and Bucket & Peanut Show Crew Member, Handsome Dan.*

"My knees are starting to hurt, Miss", whimpered Handsome Dan.

Isabella tapped him on the top of his head with her stiletto. "Don't interrupt, Boy!".......Isabella cleared her throat and refocused. "Now... without further ado I am pleased to present to you, The B&P Faithful, an intriguing tale of what just might happen when we don't pay close enough attention to the details and how a case of mistaken identity could sometimes be a killer mistake!


Bucket was excited about the guest he had lined up for the October episode of The Bucket & Peanut Show. So excited in fact, he insisted upon taking care of all the prep work for the show himself. He basically had his plate full...and his bowl.....and is pint glass......and that lil tiny cup that espresso comes in. He had a lot to do. So much that he decided he would let Peanut take care of arraigning transportation for the show's guest to the studio......a decision Bucket would live to regret.

Are you sure this is it, Peanut?"

Peanut stared up at the dilapidated mansion with the severally neglected yard. "Ummm yeah.....Meadow Lane.....or was it Meadow Road.....What's the difference, Bucket."

"There's a huge difference, Peanut", said Bucket. "Meadow Road is on the North Side of town in a very afluent neighborhood, Meadow Lane is well, in this shithole of a neighborhood we find ourselves now. Huge difference Peanut..... HUGE!"

Peanut shrugged. "Sparks is a very busy bish, she probs just doesn't have time for yard work and keeping up with her this neighborhood gotts character and I've heard she's quite the character!"

Bucket stared at Peanut as his pint-sized co-host made her way up the walkway to what should be a condemned building. He hurried to get ahead of her, face-palming her along the way. "Main Host first!...Co-Host second!" They climbed the rickety stairs that led to the front porch. The wooden boards that made up the porch were mostly rotted and in desperate need of repair. With each step the porch creaked beneath their feet. "No one is sneaking up on her", joked Bucket.

Peanut knocked on the front door and to her surprise the door slightly opened. "See.....she's expecting us", Peanut said with a smile. She pushed the door the rest of the way open and let herself in.

Bucket and Peanut stood motionless in the foyer. The inside of the mansion was as just in disrepair as the outside. The musty smell of the house that had been long been neglected filled their nostrils. It was dim and uninviting. The furniture dusty and old, looking as if it would crumble to dust if anyone were to touch it. Mold ate away at the walls and flooring, and cobwebs laced the dirty windows and the portraits of self-righteous people who once lived in the house. The feeling as if someone, or something, was watching them, waiting to drag them into the shadows could not be ignored.

"Ummmmmm....Hello?", Bucket called out, not really expecting to hear Sparks' cheerful voice in return.

Peanut walked into the main living room. "Look Bucket, there's a bar.....this is gotta be Sparks' place!", she said with a playful smile, pointing to the small table in the corner of the room. On the table stood a bottle of Absinthe and two glasses that were half full with a strange looking liquid that appeared to be emanating a thin white smoke. "Oh yeah...and she made us drinks, Peanut."

Bucket was walking over to join Peanut by the bar when suddenly he caught the glimpse of someone standing in the door way to his right. There in the entrance to the kitchen stood what Bucket and Peanut thought to be Sparks.

Cadaverous and frail, the woman was stripped of her humanity. The warmth of her skin, long since drained,leaving only a sickly pale stain to decorate her rotting flesh. Spindly arms hung from her torso, long and bony, her fingers were trembling claws with nails filed into sharp points. Everything about her was disturbingly disproportionate. Her misshapen head hung awkwardly on a narrow neck. A dirty rabbit mask covered most of her untamed greasy hair, secreting an oily film. Through sunken, black eyes, she stared into oblivion with a dead gaze. Slowly, her thin lips parted, and a vile grin crept across her decayed face, revealing a set of rotten fangs and black gums.

"Can you say, Photoshop?", Peanut sarcastically whispered to Bucket.

"Quiet you!, Bucket replied. "Ummmm.....Hey's great to meet uh.....ya

look much different in person!"

Peanut let out a playful giggle, "She smells a lot different too!" Bucket leaned over and elbowed his co-host in the arm. "What!.....I mean in her pics she looks she would smell like yummy cotton candy and here we are and she smells like mothballs covered in Baby Poop!......I really hope Handsome Dan brushed up on his Photoshop Skills cause I have no clue how we are gonna pull this interview off with her."

The deranged woman showed her rotten teeth as her lips curled into a wicked smile. She let out a maniacal laugh and unveiled a long bloody razor sharp knife that she was concealing behind her back. Peanut's eyes widened as she stared at the knife and Bucket began to slowly retreat toward the front door.

"On second thought......I can totally see it now......It's gotta be the light in here or like maybe you just ate a turd taco?", Peanut nervously laughed.

Bucket tried to open the front door,  but it was locked from the inside with a key. He bounded up the staircase adjacent to the entry door,  two steps at a time. Peanut followed, scampering up the stairs with the psychotic bunny hat wearing Sparks in pursuit.

The demented version of the popular photographer and DJ was cackling as she slashed at Peanut's meaty ass cheeks that were peaking out from the top of her ill-fitted sweatpants. The blade coming so close to Peanut's bottom, it cutoff some of her cheeky booty's peach-fuzz.

"Holy Shit Sparks!.....I'll let you touch the booty.... ya ain't gotta cut it off!", Peanut screamed.

Over the course of the next several minutes, Bucket and Peanut ran for their lives around the second floor in comical fashion.

Bucket was determined to stay alive by simply running faster then his partner in crime. He would slam doors in Peanut's face and knock over small pieces of furniture that she would have to jump over as they went from room to room with the deranged woman giving chase.

Bucket flung open the door to the Master Bedroom and as he turned to slam it shut he saw the horror in Peanut's eyes. "Don't you fucking dare", she screamed.  Bucket sighed and continued to the balcony attached to the room. Peanut ran into the room and slammed the door shut,  knocking an old dirty crushed velvet chair over in a half-assed attempt to barricade the door. She joined Bucket on the balcony and the two of them stared down at the 15 foot drop to the walkway below.

"Well Peanut, looks like the only way up is down!"

Peanut stared up at Bucket, looking quite confused. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means we gotta jump!"

"Then say the only way down is down, ain't the time for fucking riddles!"

"It's not a riddle, it's a very simple saying Peanut!"

"It's simply stupid Bucket!"

A loud crash came from the Master Bedroom and Peanut screamed, the maniac with the bunny hat had broken through the door and was heading for the balcony.

"Hold my hand", Peanut asked as they prepared to jump. "Uh....NO!", replied Bucket and with that,  he jumped. "YOU DICK!", yelled Peanut who jumped just as Sparks reached the balcony and took one final swipe at Peanut.

Bucket lost his bucket when he hit the stone walkway with Peanut landing on top of him. She pushed his head down as she got up and kicked his trademark bucket into the over grown weed lawn.

The Mad Woman stared down at them from above with gleaming black eyes. She let out a demented laugh, pointing the tip of her blade at Bucket and Peanut, gritting and showering then her rotted teeth.

Peanut dusted herself off and immediately turned and laced into the crazy bitch. "Oh fuck you Sparks!!.....Interview's cancelled, Bish!!.....We can't Photoshop the crazy outta your ass!....Your off the show!......besides..... your so ugly you make blind kids cry!!!"

Bucket had crawled over to retrieve his Bucket. His phone vibrated in his pocket, he pulled out from his pocket and noticed he had 3 missed calls and one text from Sparks. The text read,  "Where are you guys? I hope your not lost. Just in-case Peanut lost my address, I'll give it to you, 717 Meadow Road. Call me!"

Bucket sighed,  "Meadow Road, Peanut!.....HUGE difference....HUGE!!!

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